*
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
2 Samuel 22:19-21
Psalm 18:18-20
"He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.
Job 36:15-17
You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.
Psalm 31:7-9
Memory Verse - Galatians 5:22&23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Discovering more on - Godly woman & discipline.
Objectives - to be super close to the spirit and bring Np1 to new heights, readily available for the Kingdom.
11:23 AM
this is a conversation I had with a friend and I want to record my thoughts down in this blog so as to not lose sight of what I believe. This is also to help me reflect on what I am believing, so to gain more insights to enhance or refine these beliefs.
*Names have been changed for privacy
E says (12:46 AM):
Hello!
F says (12:46 AM):
hey!
E says (12:49 AM):
coming service tomorrow?
F says (12:50 AM):
yeah i guess i'm coming
E says (12:50 AM):
hmmm
why? don't wana come?
F says (12:51 AM):
i might be changing church,
want to go to a place where i can grow together with H as a couple
some place that supports and can help us both grow
we have to decide for ourselves where we can grow best.
E says (12:53 AM):
then will you consider joining his church?
F says (12:53 AM):
yes and also looking out for others
E says (12:53 AM):
hmm i see
can try abc church, Not bad
F says (12:54 AM):
yeah also looking there
i like their sermon very much
E says (12:54 AM):
by pastor jp?
hmm i would agree with you our xyz church isn't a place to grow for couples
with the leaders opinions and all
F says (12:55 AM):
i like how the female preacher preach
pastor p not bad la, but overall i really like how they focus on God's love and how he is trying to reach us more than how we much do to reach him
cos it's not about just doing
E says (12:56 AM):
hmmm true also
just come tomorrow, since it's special service.
F says (12:57 AM):
when i was very down and question if God is so hard to love, their message really heal me.
i truly understand what it means by the truth sets you free
yeah see how, i don't want to do things legalistically anymore.
it has killed my joy in serving God enough.
doing things just because it is "the way" or what we should be doing, or just do and see how
when this drags on everything becomes really meaningless.
E says (12:59 AM):
hmm
i get wad you trying to say
change church and continue to grow from there
F says (1:00 AM):
yeah. so tomorrow i will see how, i want to go because i want to go
not because someone ask me to or i should be going
but of cos i want to hear from God but you know those weeks i attend xyz, the sermon doesn't speak to me of my current situation at all
everything is like i have to do this do that so that i can be like this and like that but no!
God says nothing you do or did not do can make him love you more or less
cos he love you the max already. he doesn't depend on my doing to love me, to use me.
it is good that they emphasize how we should do but they forgot what compels us
God's love. the one reason why we should serve
it is like asking someone to die for Jesus without letting them understand the whole thing behind it
paul says right, Christ love compels us
and that's what i'm working towards.
i feel they really should emphasize on how high, how wide, how deep God love is.
everything comes naturally after that
when you love someone, everything comes naturally right,
want to talk to him, want to spend time with him, want to let your friends know him
it is only natural!
E says (1:05 AM):
hmmm yup, it does. i've totally been lost from god aft im together with my bf
F says (1:05 AM):
no use talking about what we should do when we don't even get to know about god's love!
E says (1:05 AM):
i dont know why, but it doesn't serve any purpose with me going to church anymore.
F says (1:06 AM):
yar
E says (1:06 AM):
yea, i havent been into church sermons and all lately
i go to church for friends
and yea
totally wrong purpose
i feel tat i've back-slide so far
F says (1:07 AM):
and faith comes from hearing!
what do we get when we cant get quality sermons
E says (1:08 AM):
yea, im rather sick of those sermons tat doesn't impact me
i get closer to god when i sing though, tat's all
No matter how much people emphasize to me about god, i seem to lose it all
like not-so-christian kind of thing
F says (1:09 AM):
but do you really think they love God with zeal?
or is it about stamina?
E says (1:09 AM):
stamina?
i dont know how the leaders does them
F says (1:09 AM):
when someone really filled with love towards God speaks to me, i really get encourage
E says (1:09 AM):
they can do "so much"
F says (1:09 AM):
they don't tell you to do things, but they share new insights of God's love
it is a serious thing if you feel far from God you need to get healing
from quality sermon and reading, reflecting on your life.
E (1:11 AM):
hmm yea, i feel so far
yet i dont know wad to do
F says (1:11 AM):
don't let people get into your decisions and pace.
E says (1:11 AM):
so lost, just living life day by day
F says (1:11 AM):
if you carry on doing what you should do without feeling you want to do it
then it will just kill your joy forever
you don't want to reach a point where u feel loving God is so hard
trust me. it is really sad and frustrating
remember it is all about you and God only
heck what people thinks and say
E says (1:12 AM):
yea, but it seems tat he isn't really important to me already.
F says (1:12 AM):
of cos people who are concern you will know and to listen to what they have to say
but there are always people who just want to lay a layer of rules on you
that's just being legalistic and judgemental
many people thinks i'm very far away from God
but what on what basis and measure do you judge spirituality?
are we even told to judge?
E says (1:14 AM):
No, but i guess leaders Have set a wrong emphasis on spiritual growth
F says (1:15 AM):
i just feel they always emphasize on doing but nothing about god's love
and sometimes i wonder if they themselves know God's love more each day
if they do then they will not just emphasize on doing no?
E says (1:16 AM):
hmmm true
F says (1:16 AM):
you know why singing helps you feel better cos it's all about God's love for us
E says (1:16 AM):
i sometimes wonder wad's the leaders motive and purpose in church
F says (1:17 AM):
it's so hard to reach to God ourselves
God understand and that's why Jesus died no?
to come and reach us
leaders meant good, want to build us spiritually
but each person has different style, love God differently, in different ways,
serve God in different areas.
there are so many areas to serve God
but in hope it is only one normal way
if God create us all differently do you think he want us to love him and serve him the way everybody is doing?
not that it is wrong but isn't the system stifle our love?
i know it is the safest way to serve God and not be proud compared to serving God through drama etc
but the reason but them to not allow you to be on stage before you are "spiritual" is just a "WHAT IF"? no?
what if you whatever later.. what if.
you can what if until Jesus comes home
why not try it out and ask God to guard your heart?
why is it always about preventing?
what about attacking it instead of avoiding your obstacle
because we are not ready yet? then when is the perfect timing? is there even a perfect timing for thing?
it is just like BGR.
they say wait cos what if..
but why so negative?
the times you spend waiting and thinking what if and trying to pretend you dont like each other or control your feelings towards each other can be spend creating good times and learning about each other and overcoming obstacles together
it is not as if we are taking it as a game
it is like spirituality. people who are "spiritual" falls all the time
who can confirm if you don't let the person serve God on stage and wait they will not fall ?
it is like who can confirm people who wait to be in courtship will end up in marriage and never divorce?
i think they need to wake up and think if God says any of these in the bible
is God really that legalistic and old fashion thinking?
is he that hard to love?!
E says (1:25 AM):
hmm yea
leaders pose too many wad ifs questions
J once talk to me about taking away something to make you go back to god and all
tsk, i don't know. i know myself and my bf have drifted away
i don't know how to get back to god
F says (1:26 AM):
start anew, in xyz or anywhere.
E says (1:26 AM):
for my bf, i believe he as a strong believer, he knows wad he has to do
hmmm i'm thinking of changing church
F says (1:27 AM):
rediscover God
E says (1:27 AM):
but my ministry and all tied me down
F says (1:27 AM):
not your past experience or what people say he is
E says (1:28 AM):
hmm yea
F says (1:29 AM):
haha but i really want to start a new group in hope about this whole new idea i have
and help couples and people who are sick of the legalism way to grow out of their dryness
that together we can support each other and grow
not as leader to members but as cordial friends
E says (1:30 AM):
haha, there's only K, me and you whom i know is attached
F says (1:30 AM):
damn close friends that can share openly and honestly about anything
E says (1:30 AM):
maybe we can work something out.
i need a break from church seriously.
i've been going there without a purpose
it doesn't bring me anywhere
F says (1:30 AM):
take your time
find your love back
E says (1:31 AM):
yea , i need time
personal time.
8:03 AM